It's New Year Again!

I guess I need to review my resolutions from last year to see if I accomplished them before I make new ones for 2015. Oh, what's the use? I know I didn't do much better than I had before so a new set of resolutions won't make a lot of difference. On the other hand, I do believe in setting goals and pressing on. So here goes: In 2015 I will focus on writing better and more consistently. I will make less demands on my daughter and granddaughter who provide my transportation. I will be more respectful of their time and gas money. I will pursue my goal of becoming more reclusive and practice the hermit discipline. Maybe I'll read more of Thomas Merton. I will pray with greater focus and be more intentional in my prayer life.

I think one of the aids to a more successful resolution outcome may be keeping a calendar and a record of faithful practice. Maybe I can even report my experiences in this blog. I hope I don't completely chase off my readers. I get quite giddy when I have readers, so it can be very exhilarating. And oh, the joy of a comment! I do think this kind of self examination is profitable and meaningful. I'm afraid as a hermit, I have a lot to learn. I must learn not to seek affirmation and response to my writing. It still needs to be helpful or inspiring for others. Here is my dilemma: I must write well, intelligently, reasonably, and coherently, but without pride or arrogance. I must praise people and ideas that have value and substance without being overbearing or foolish. I want the writing to stand and carry weight because it is sound and convincing without the reader having to like me or be influenced by me as a person.

I've got a day to consider this before January 1, but tonight this is the way I'm going to leave it. I may alter it later. We'll see.

Hopeless

Sometimes there are barriers in my way that I can't find a way around. Sometimes the obstacles are more than I can surmount. Sometimes there is no avenue that promises relief. Sometimes I just bow and weep before God and seek his mercy. This is one of those times.

My daughter is ill and I can't help her. I moved away when my health began to crumble. I had my gall bladder removed when I moved here. I was suffering with it quite a bit. Now I have had a small stroke and deal with some difficulties in walking and some other problems with balance. These things are annoying, but  I still feel guilty that I am leaving Carol without my help. I do provide some financial support, but it's not enough to supply her with everything she needs.

Sometimes I want to move back home with her and take care of her again. I know I'm not able to do what she needs, but I could do what I could. Sarah does what she can, but if I was there I could do something. Here, I'm not doing anything. I feel guilty and useless. And I love her so much. I can only bow and weep and seek God.

It'sTime to Rant

It has been 53 years since Newton N. Minow's famous speech labeled TV as a "vast wasteland" and not much has changed. I guess I made a mistake. Things have gone downhill. The morality of TV shows has slid significantly and the grade is getting steeper.

TV is not the watch dog of morality, but it's reflection, so my rant is against the people who take the limelight and lower our standards of decency. TV has the power to do that by the portrayal of character's of high moral tone as ridiculous or stiff-necked, and the use of gangsters as nice guys. 

By teaching us to witness scenes of mayhem and destruction as humorous we lose sensitivity to the horror of the story we watch. It's not a big leap for us to justify killing the murderer. I believe in defending yourself, but it is still a drastic thing to kill another person.