Bored or Lonely? You Don't Have To Be

Old age is often saddled with the burden of loneliness.  The condition may be real or perceived. There are probably people who would assess me as lonely. I live alone in a retirement home. I don't play cards or dominoes. I don't have friends in "the home." although I am becoming acquainted with other residents. My daughter has visited me a couple of times in the last week and I have had calls from out of town family. I really don't consider myself lonely. There are some things I wish were different. I wish I could go shopping whenever I want, but I am limited to the scheduled shopping trips. I wish I could attend Bible study when I wanted, but, again, I am limited by the scheduled trips. These are other factors that aren't adapted to my taste or choice, but I would argue with the social workers or other professionals who would label me lonely.

I enjoy living alone. I can pursue reading, writing, TV, walks to view the foliage, birds, and fish. I enjoy surfing the net and writing random observations, poetry, and biblical commentary. Because of these solitary activities I might appear lonely. I'm not. I like this.

Those who would call me lonely need to find a new occupation. I'm not lonely. I have been told that the loneliest one can ever be is in a crowd. I believe it. It's not the number of people surrounding you that prevents loneliness. It has a lot more to do with interest or connection or, maybe, love. I think sharing prevents loneliness. Remembering eases the pain of loneliness when you focus on the joyous events of your life. Another practice that will relieve you from a life of loneliness is humor. Think about how Robin Williams or Jim Carry would handle your situation on screen. 

If you are getting old, look for the benefits, recount the lessons you have learned, and maintain your perspective. Getting old is not a bad thing. Living in "the home" is not necessarily evil, boring, or hopeless, either. Don't let someone else tell you how to deal with old age. It's your old age. Enjoy it!  

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Food A Powerful Control Method

You learn a lot of new stuff when you move to "the home." The list may be endless, but there are a few that have risen to the top of the pile just in the first week of my new adventure. First, mealtimes is the no. 1 consideration. Mealtimes order my day, dictate my observations, and provide my surprises. Of course, my schedule is controlled by mealtime. It takes a fairly long time to accomplish a meal here. The servers are diligent, but depending on where you sit, you may be last to get served. Office staff are active in the serving, too. They pour coffee, which I don't drink, and will get a second glass of tea if asked. 

Do you refer to the evening meal as dinner or supper? My custom was to call it supper and the noon meal dinner. That is the standard here. The noon meal is the largest and most filling so I guess it's proper to say dinner. Most of the meals take longer to finish than reason would allow. The delay in getting everybody served is the cause of this elongated mealtime. It takes an hour, usually, to finish. Sometimes it seems endless, but it does prevent overeating. That last bite that would make me overstuffed has time for consideration, and I usually don't take it.taste

A great deal of the mealtime conversation centers on the menu and recipes. Remember the school lunchroom? It's sort of like that. You may recognize what it is, but it's not the way Mama fixed it. And you don't have to clean your plate anymore. I keep peanut butter and jelly for emergencies.

Mealtimes also provide many opportunities for intellectual puzzles and word games. Trying to guess what will actually be on the plate with only the title of the dish on the menu may be very challenging. I have discovered one reason for this anomaly. The menus are dictated by the corporate office of the company which runs "the home," and they seem to be totally insensitive to the availability of local foods. I think the chef actually tries to make the food follow the menu and also taste good.  Sometimes you have to choose one or the other. 

Peanut butter and jelly is a good safety net.

Why All the Books?

Hey, ya'll. I made it. I'm in McAllen. It has not been an easy journey, but I'm seeing progress. The van with the furniture arrived last Thursday and unloaded. I did not think I had that many books, but they're in the apartment now (some still i the boxes). Becky offered her opinion that I didn't need that many books and I would never read them. She's right. Most of them have been available to be for 60 or 70 years and I haven't read them; what makes me think I'll read them now?
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I can't argue with her that this amount of reading is unlikely;however, I continue to desire to be well-read and the books are the way to accomplish that fiction. Before I began the move I started The Gathering Storm , the first of Winston Churchill's books on the Second World War. It is a large book, but I am enormously intrigued by this great polotician and statesman's observation of this most important event of the 20th Century. 

The 20th Century is my century. It is history that I was alive for. I really love history, but this history occurred in my lifetime. It shaped my childhood and laid the basis for whatever happened to me later. The literature of the the 20th Century tells me who I am and what I am about. The fiction tells me what the ideas were that saw me grow up. The poetry lures me to flights of fancy. I may never read the books, but, at least, I know where to find them. In them I can rehearse my life and times and find meaning. The 20th Century is not a foreign concept. I understand it's language and it errors and I can reflect on it successes and remember it's joys. 

Moving Is Scary!

Change is happening. I am moving to the Rio Grande Valley, the Land of Manana. It is an adventure.I'm not sure whether I'm excited or just plain scared. I know it is a choice I made. Intellectually, it makes sense. I will live in a retirement home (no, it's not a nursing home). Meals are provided along with housekeeping, laundry, and social activities. It all sounds terribly organized and boring.

I won't have to make decisions, go shopping, or  cook dinner. It may take a lot more effort to incorporate creativity and achievement in my life. It's hard to understand how this is going to change me

Check back with me later. I'll let you know how my journey is going.

I Want to Leave Home

I never thought I'd live with my kids when they were grown. Guess what? I am. Maybe I've told you about Carol. She has Rheumatoid Arthritis and is seriously handicapped by it. She is a widow. She is 47. Her daughter is 23 and she lives with me too. Sarah lacks one class to complete an Associate Degree from Junior College. She is looking for a job.

I want everybody to get everything they need, but I want to provide some comfort and satisfaction for me, too. I have provided support and sustenance for Carol and Sarah for at least the two years they have lived with me. I have taken Carol to the doctor, paid the rent and bought groceries. 

Now I want to move. I will make sure Carol has a place that accommodates her needs with nursing care, a housekeeper, etc, but I don't want to do it anymore. I'm old and I need help, too. Sarah needs to take over her mother's care. Getting the job is the first step.

I need to look to my own needs for a while. I don't even think of this as selfish, but rather making provision so that others aren't burdened with my care. At least that's the way I'm seeing it now.

Hudson's in Texas

Yesterday I visited with three of my cousins and met two I had not ever known. We visited in the cemetery discussed family relationships. It was wonderful. Now I have new people to talk with about genealogy. 

My father's name was Lenox Hudson. He told me his father Wiley had come to Texas from Tennessee when he was a boy. Wiley Hudson was born in 1863. The family probably left to come to Texas in 1869 or shortly after. They were recorded in the Lamar County Federal Census 1880. I don't know how long the trip would take in a covered wagon. Wiley was enrolled in school with Captain Rice in the Bogata area in the early 1880s. He was boarding with someone, perhaps Captain Rice. He met Lucy while he attended school. She was six years younger, and their correspondence did not begin, so far as I can tell, until about 1887 or 1888.

They married in February of 1893 and my father was born on December 9 of that year. 

Tax Day

Today is April 15! Tax Day! Now what am I going to do. This year I have had the most trouble I've had in a long time with taxes. I did not manage my year well. I paid lots of bills for other people, and now I'm paying double. 

I don't like to mess up on things like this. I do believe in citizens paying taxes to cover the cost of government, but when I see the government doing such stupid things. it makes me feel less responsible and less interested in paying the taxes.

The Sequester and lack of a federal budget for several years is not a good role model for citizens. We need to manage our funds and issues better than this. Some things are emergencies--you can't plan a toothache or a flat tire--they just happen and we take the heat. But we can plan most of our expenses and anticipate their cost and adjust our spending to the fit the need.

Kind of like New Year's Resolutions, this time of year is a chance to start over, plan better, make a budget. Maybe next year I'll do better.