Writing Is What I Do

English: Boredom Italiano: Noia (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am taking painting lessons here at "the home." I don't think it's going to do much good. I've never had painting or drawing talent and I'm not expecting lessons to change that much. It does occupy time and get me to the next meal, which is what most of the activities do. I think I really know the answer to my boredom and lack of accomplishment. 

I write poetry, prose, articles, and fiction. That's what I know how to do. Maybe there are still things I need to improve or sharpen, but still that's the thing I want to do, and do better.  The problem I have with that is that it's hard work. I can dabble in painting or playing cards.without all the work and the sense of failure that comes with not doing a good job. Nobody expects me to paint well, but there are people who would expect me to write well. Doing it badly would be a real bummer, and I would know even if nobody else reads it.  

Maybe this insight into my own mental processes will prompt me to put in the study and effort to write well and often. It will be difficult (writing is hard work) and I need to correct bad habits and choose good topics. I need to make a schedule and stick to it. Maybe this is a time to begin a new regimen. I've piddled around and avoided commitment because I'm retired and I don't have any responsibility. I don't like this. I have written before that I need something to do. Maybe this is the thing I need: a commitment  a new focus on writing, improvement in my rhetoric. 

I guess I don't have anything to lose except boredom, aimless activity, and endless days of bad TV. 

Literary Theory and Depression

I took a class in Literary Theory some years ago. I recommend it. I like philosophical studies because it provides a variety of ways to view and evaluate literature. The theories look at the literary works from various perspectives: Of course you have to study all those different approaches to be able to apply them.

Learning to view life from different perspectives is helpful too. Sometimes I can relieve my depressive attitude by a shift in my approach or by just looking at the situation from a different angle.

Today I am depressed. There are things I can do to relieve my sadness and lethargy. Mostly they relate to being active and getting up and taking action, but there are ways to look at this that would lessen the deepening of my angst. I could look for new adventures on my calendar, or maybe I should just recognize that new things will happen and they may be fun.

Oh, by the way, fun is one very good antidote for depression. I'm not sure what theory that goes with, but it's always worth a try.

Accomplishment is a good way to fight depression. Physical activity fights depression because it stimulates the production of neurotransmitters in the nervous system. The effort and energy required for accomplishment has a similar effect. Hard work and difficult mental challenges are rewarding in the activity, but success is a real high.  Tackle difficult math problems or learn a new language to insulate yourself against depression. 

So I am depressed. So I write about how not to be depressed. Sounds like a good plan. And occasionally in all that effort and mental stimulation, I do something worthwhile. Go for it!!! 

Which Church? What's the Difference?

When I came to the Valley, I started going to Church at the Assembly of God Church. I was well-received and enjoyed the service, but there were elements in the schedule that left me a little empty. Today I went to a United Methodist Church. It was different. I was well-received again, but this time I felt more "at home." I'm not sure why I felt more at home in one church than the other. Maybe it's that I have been a Methodist more than I was a member of the Assemblies. Maybe it just that I do Methodist better. Actually it was different than my Methodist template. They used a modern translation of the Apostle's Creed and read the scripture from a different translation. 

I think the thing that hooked me was the Sunday school class. It gave me an open invitation to express my opinion and join in the conversation. In the Assembly Church, both the Sunday school classes I attended were lecture format with very little student participation. 

I didn't take notes on the sermons, but I think the Assembly sermons may have been more in depth and challenging.  I guess time will tell. I do want to try St. Mark's United Methodist Church again. I like the Sunday school class and I can deal with the sermons for a while. Maybe I'll do more reading and writing. This is part of my adjustment to my new life. Check back in a few weeks to see what I decide. 

Samuel L. Gompers and the Rise of Labor Unions

I did a little research on Mr. Gompers and the rise of the Labor Unions once sort of as a tribute to my husband who was committed to his local and the concept of unionization.

My husband was not a raging liberal, but he was committed to the union and was involved in the annual negotiations with management. 

One year we attended the Labor Day Parade and celebration in Austin, Texas. The speeches and bar-be-que were O.K. and we enjoyed the day.

The big emphasis on Labor Day was the debt the country owed to the American Laborer. Yes, workers were paid wages, but the American workers were, and still are, the backbone of the American success in production and manufacturing. We owe a debt to the efforts and foresight of Samuel L. Gompers. Celebrate Labor Day!     

Disaster!!!

I've been very unsettled and disturbed since I decided to move. Getting here and moving in has made my unease even worse. Last night I picked up a book by James Gleick entitled Chaos. The book describes a new science that describes the effect of small changes and how they make big differences in systems. and how they operate. Here I am making changes in where and how I live and I can't predict the effect these changes will have on my life. Chaos doesn't describe pandemonium or randomness, Chaos describes a new system of complexity. My life has taken on a new dimension that will change lots of actions and outcomes. I can't predict them because chaos theory's complexity removes the future from the  set of known properties. I'm getting it back together. Maybe this move won't be the disaster I was afraid it was.  

New Experience for My Old Age

I've gotten to be old without having much in the way of sickness and trauma. I don't want to brag too much about that, but, not to fear, I have now experienced my first operation. I've had stitches for various reasons, I've had 6 kids and a few illnesses, but this week I have "gone under the knife."

After 12 hours of severe pain in my abdomen, I surrendered to my daughter's suggestion that I should seek assistance from a hospital. She assured me that this symptom was sufficient reason to justify further investigation. I kept thinking that if I just waited a while it would quit. Not wishing to be labeled a fool, I agreed to go to whatever hospital she chose. She picked the one where she works. If I didn't have a preference, she could make it easy on herself. 

The Mission Regional Medical Center was very efficient and prompt with their response to my needs. The emergency staff assessed my distress quickly and provided prompt relief. The next day a very good surgeon removed my gall bladder, and the day after that a very good gastroenterologist removed a very large stone from my common bile duct. 

I can't say this is one of the things on my bucket list, but I am very grateful for the compassionate care I received. I don't know the names of the host of people who made this experience tolerable. But I'll not forget to give thanks to God for them for a long time to come. 

Bored or Lonely? You Don't Have To Be

Old age is often saddled with the burden of loneliness.  The condition may be real or perceived. There are probably people who would assess me as lonely. I live alone in a retirement home. I don't play cards or dominoes. I don't have friends in "the home." although I am becoming acquainted with other residents. My daughter has visited me a couple of times in the last week and I have had calls from out of town family. I really don't consider myself lonely. There are some things I wish were different. I wish I could go shopping whenever I want, but I am limited to the scheduled shopping trips. I wish I could attend Bible study when I wanted, but, again, I am limited by the scheduled trips. These are other factors that aren't adapted to my taste or choice, but I would argue with the social workers or other professionals who would label me lonely.

I enjoy living alone. I can pursue reading, writing, TV, walks to view the foliage, birds, and fish. I enjoy surfing the net and writing random observations, poetry, and biblical commentary. Because of these solitary activities I might appear lonely. I'm not. I like this.

Those who would call me lonely need to find a new occupation. I'm not lonely. I have been told that the loneliest one can ever be is in a crowd. I believe it. It's not the number of people surrounding you that prevents loneliness. It has a lot more to do with interest or connection or, maybe, love. I think sharing prevents loneliness. Remembering eases the pain of loneliness when you focus on the joyous events of your life. Another practice that will relieve you from a life of loneliness is humor. Think about how Robin Williams or Jim Carry would handle your situation on screen. 

If you are getting old, look for the benefits, recount the lessons you have learned, and maintain your perspective. Getting old is not a bad thing. Living in "the home" is not necessarily evil, boring, or hopeless, either. Don't let someone else tell you how to deal with old age. It's your old age. Enjoy it!  

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