Age-Appropriate Behavior

Yesterday I heard about the woman who was giving her daughter Botox because she was involved in a pageant.  I understand the child was removed from the mother's care.  My mother was dedicated to the idea that you did child things when you were a child and grown-up things when you were grown-up.

Out society seems to have turned that theory upside down.  Everything these days is devoted to the idea that we can change the timetable.  It is true that in the pageant world all the girls wear makeup and clothes that hint or imply sexuality--the lingering look, the suggestive walk, the extreme makeup, even with Botox.  But this is not confined to the pageant world.  Advertisements appeal to children on a sexual level that is beyond their comprehension.

No matter how much the parents want to promote their child's achievements, introducing them to sexualized clothing and behavior at six or eight years of age is stupid.  I don't take this stand just because I am a religious prude.  The human brain develops on its own schedule.  You can teach these behaviors to a child and children are great imitators:  They will do what they see others do.  Teaching them to imitate adult sexual behavior robs them of the joy of growing up.  By the time this is appropriate, they've already done it.

Developmental theory proposes that children encounter stages where they learn as their brain can accommodate new material.   Teaching a child that the value of her life lies in perfect makeup and stage presence distorts the process of growing up.  I have not addressed all the reasons a mother who is not qualified to handle Botox should not be doing this, but they extend beyond this post.  The more immediate question of allowing or expecting kids to engage in adult behavior makes me mad.

Getting Old Is Fun

My mother never told me that getting old is so much fun.  Of course, she died young, so she couldn't have.  I have discovered an important thing about getting old.  I haven't really lost anything that I learned when I was younger.  I can't do a lot of things I did then.  I can't run anymore.  Spinning in circles on the lawn until I fall down and watch the world spin around me has lost its appeal, but I still remember the exhuberant feeling of it. 

I really like the developmental theories about growing up.  We talk a lot about stages.  We all laugh about the "terrible twos" and try to be supportive when the mothers of the little monsters that were such cute little babies cry on our shoulders.  But I finally learned that we don't just "go through stages."  The things we learn and the skills we acquire in the stages are still with us long after the "stage" is over.  The child that learns to build his own will and character at two is still practicing and refining that skill at seventy or more.

Growing up, like education, is life long and soul deep.  Most of the developmental psychologists give up at the "late adult" stage.  I hope that as the Baby Boomer generation has now entered the 65 year mark, more attention will be paid to the development possible in the "latter yerars."  It is sad to think that the only thing I have to look forward to is a slow demise when I see so much I want to know and learn. 

I went to the meeting of the LLL club at our church last week.  I did a miserable job of playing 84.  I have played a lot of games, but I'm not good at it.  Maybe that's something I should learn.  It doesn't feel like it.  I want to have and form and express opinions; I want to learn new ideas and see new visions.  Maybe I'm being critical, but I don't see myself playing games and sinking into senility quietly.  I want it to be an adventure, robust and sharp and intense.  "Go not gentle into that good night."