Assuming God

      When my mother once fell down the steps at the front of the Methodist Church she had attended all her life, she swore, piteously from her reclining posture on the couch, she would never go again, but she lied. When I was about nine I made a profession of faith and joined the Church on Palm Sunday morning, and when I looked behind me she was there being supportive, though tearful.

      (This is the United Methodist Church in Bogata, Texas. The ramp on the left side has been added since I grew up.)
     I won't say I never had a crisis of faith, but I never rebelled in any significant way. I just always assumed that God was real and I was a Christian from that time on.  
     Since then I have born 6 children, loved and lost a husband, earned a degree, and worked in the Texas Prison System as a psychologist, and now I can say without reservation, I believe in God as my Father and the source my life, and Jesus as my Lord, my Savior, my Rock, and my Redeemer. During this process I have had many challenges to my faith, but I never lost my deep respect and reverence for God.
     Over the years and challenges to my faith, I have explored the questions about God's existence and found nothing in them to replace my faith and the peace it brings me. I have read C. S. Lewis's books and writings for many years. I have examined some of his works in regard to belief in God. One thing that impressed me about Lewis is that he was a highly educated man who was an atheist who became a Christian after 30 years of age. 
Then I read about Albert Einstein who, even though he was a world renowned theoretical physicist, was still a believer in God. These two brilliant scholars both found reason to believe in an invisible God in the face of much argument not to. 
     One thing seemed obvious to me: Believing in God has little to do with reason or argument. Building a beautiful argument to believe is a sterile and lifeless discipline if you are doing it as just a parlor trick. Believing in God extends beyond the limits of physical and astronomical bounds. It is born in the depths of the soul and draws on more than we have the capacity to understand, so it may be useless to appeal to the mortal mind. But that is a place to begin. Read the Bible, listen to the sermons, watch life unfold in people around, view joys and disasters, and see for yourself where God is and what He is doing.
     

On Choosing a Subject

I love to write. I love the power and challenge of transforming my ideas and knowledge and experience to a form that can be shared with others. Sometimes I think I'm arrogant to think that anyone wants to read my stuff, but then I remember that maybe it's a thought they had not considered before. Maybe I'm obligated to share my thoughts with the universe. There goes that arrogance again.

It's fun to engage in struggle to say things the way you want to. And sometimes it's very hard. I really like the short, succinct, and sometimes memorable quotes, but they are usually reserved for Winston Churchill or Emily Dickinson. But still I try. 

The hardest part of writing is finding a subject and an approach that I can feel confident about. First I have to have an opinion about the subject or something to say. If the subject is something that is talked about a lot or is a controversial subject in society, maybe it's easier. In this case the opinion may form quickly without great effort, but there may be many views of the controversy and I may have to examine my own bias before I can form an opinion. 

I have found that many things that are legal and common in our society are, by my conscience, highly objectionable. To protest practices and ideas that are already accepted by society may be the best way to instant oblivion for a writer. On the other hand, if the writer can be persuasive, it may be the avenue of change. "The Muckrakers" brought about change by exposing deplorable conditions and practices even though they suffered some personal threats and challenges to their careers. In the long run, it made some of them famous. Maybe I just need to dig a little deeper.

I Thessalonians 5:18--In Everything Give Thanks

One year, before Thanksgiving, I learned the meaning of giving thanks in everything. The verse doesn't say "Give thanks for everything." It only says to "give thanks in everything." Give thanks in whatever situation you find yourself. Give thanks when the light turns green, but give thanks when it turns red, too. In favorable situations we should give thanks to God and in tragic situations we are still required to give thanks. Bad things happen. I don't feel thankful for them. I had learned that I wasn't giving thanks for the situation, but God's intent for me was that I should give thanks. Everywhere in whatever season and whatever weather. God required me to give thanks to him. My feelings are not the focus of my thankfulness, but God's sovereignty is.

I'm thankful when I realize this is not my problem and God has a better plan that I have. My girls were old enough to memorize and I required them to learn this verse. I called it "the rule." When something happened that overwhelmed me, and I couldn't express thankfulness to God, I would say, "Somebody say the rule." One of them would repeat the verse out loud. Hearing it in real time in the midst of the event would refocus my faith, and suddenly the horrible was just inconvenient. I had another child after this had become my practice. As soon as she was old enough to know her name, she was indoctrinated, and she also became a prod to my conscience and faith.

After some years, I don't remember how many, I read the passage and continued to verse 19. I was astonished that the letters vibrated on the page. It said, "Quench not the Spirit." Boy sometimes the Word really speaks to you. I re-read the passage beginning at verse 16 Rejoice evermore. 17 Pray without ceasing. 18 In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ concerning you. 19 Quench not the Spirit. I read it again. Quench means to pour water on the fire. Don't act in ways that prevent God's Spirit from being active and alive in your situation, especially when it is a bad one. When we accept the facts as they really present themselves and recognize God's power and majesty, our faith is released for God to take action. When we whine and complain, we restrict God's freedom to act on our behalf. "Quench not the Spirit" became a corollary to The Rule, 1 Thessalonians 5:18. I find it very faith-building to read this whole section often. You may find other points and phrases that spur you on to obedience and faith in your journey with Christ. Underline them or keep a journal. Memorize them. They will sustain you in hard times. Sometimes they may be a bridge to a testimony.

Christmas Rant

The parade of sappy love stories that masquerade as Christmas TV has started. I go though this every year, and repetition does not make it better. There are a few TV shows that are repeated every year that have become a tradition: A Charlie Brown Christmas,  A Christmas Story, Home Alone, It's a Wonderful Life, and A Christmas Carol have become staples in our Christmas viewing experience at my house. Please notice than none of these are love stories. Some of them are humorous, and some are just rousing good stories set in a Christmas background. Some actually depend on acting! It's hard to beat Jimmy Stewart and Darren McGavin. Some of the other actors in these classic films are excellent too. Macaulay Culkin as Kevin endears himself to me every year. The crooks and the family were all funny and afforded Kevin revenge and triumph. However enjoyable these films are or funny or traditional, they don't match the meaning of the birth of a Savior so it's really hopeless to find the meaning of Christmas in a film made for commerce, even a good one.

I guess I'm not very fashion conscious. The new trends don't impress me much. Lime green and fuchsia don't strike me as Christmas colors. Getting drunk does't do much for me either.  I'm more into reading the Bible story that started it all and cooking dinner and having family to love and laugh with. I like Christmas Eve Communion and candlelight; I like hymns and fruit cake and boiled custard.(I can give you the recipe.) 

The Christmas Story reminds me of tragedy and sacrifice. Not all the elements of the first Christmas are celebrated or re-enacted. Three of my children were born Christmas week, but I didn't go to the barn to have a one of them, and we had a barn. Modern thought has romanticized the barn until it isn't even a threat to the life of the child that was born there. Now they talk about soft hay, and warmth, and safety. Hay is not soft. I had a barn and I know. Barns are smelly, dusty, unfitted for having a baby.

For Christmas this year I want to recognize the sacrifices that make this season a joy and the glories that resonate in my soul when I remember that the Baby Jesus grew up to be the Savior of the world. There is more to Christmas than tinsel and frivolity. There is glory and love never-ceasing. Read Matthew 1:18-2:23 and Luke 2:1-38.

  

Walk in the Rain

The Rain People (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

We now have the reports of Hurricane Patricia and the resultant rain. I love it! TV reception is poor and continues to be interrupted by the dense cloud cover. I love the splatter and dripping from the roof and trees. It's Autumn and this is Awesome. I love the atmosphere when there is rain and clouds, dripping and puddles. I'll read Robert Frost's "My November Guest" this evening and share his appreciation of the day. I'm sure some people are almost overwhelmed by it, but I'll take them on - one at a time or en mass.

This is a day to prepare for what comes next. Rain prepares the earth for a new crop. Rain insures new growth, and flowers, and harvest. It's not time yet, but it won't come without the rain first. It might take a year, but some time to consider is included in the wait.
While we wait, we plan what to plant. We envision the layout of a garden, or orchard, or project. While we wait, we build our strength to do the work, chose our tools, buy our seed. There is a lot to do during the rainy season.

I walked over to pick up the mail in the rain. Walking in it gives a new perspective on rain. The jacket shed most of the water, but my back still felt the chill of it, and my hair dripped, and my glasses are smeared with drops. Frost was right: "My sorrow when she's here with me thinks these dark days of autumn rain are beautiful as days can be." We won't have the frosty chill of winter here in the Valley. We'll be lucky to have a day or two of chilly wind and a report of snow in Minnesota. But we got rain. Thank you, Lord, for rain.

Vanity or Insight?

Very Meaningful (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are all bloggers as vain and self centered as I am? When I think about it, I am truly embarrassed. I do so want to say something meaningful to the readers. I want to be insightful and clear-headed, but most of all, I want more readers. I do try to please a lot of people and appeal to many different tastes: I write a lot of blogs. They could probably all be one blog. It's all just what I think about a variety of subjects. Maybe I should condense it all into one blog. Dump it all in here and just make one post. Might be better.  Might even be more fun.

Response to "Reluctance"

English: Autumn leaves near Turkey Farm (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Maple and Sweet gum trees have begun to turn 
 summer is ended.
Autumn slides in on a cool breeze
hints of orange and red shine through the trees
love of fall is a yearly affliction
my soul is infected 


I am trying to learn to write unrhymed poetry, and it's not easy. I started this one as a response to Robert Frost's "Reluctance." When I reread the above lines I found an accidental rhyme. Shame on me. Unrhymed means it doesn't rhyme on purpose or otherwise. I sought to bring the same kind of insight and meaning to the thought of autumn that Frost did, but I seem not to have made it.

Maybe if I stay with the rhymes it will work better. Poetry is a cruel mistress.