It's New Year Again!

I guess I need to review my resolutions from last year to see if I accomplished them before I make new ones for 2015. Oh, what's the use? I know I didn't do much better than I had before so a new set of resolutions won't make a lot of difference. On the other hand, I do believe in setting goals and pressing on. So here goes: In 2015 I will focus on writing better and more consistently. I will make less demands on my daughter and granddaughter who provide my transportation. I will be more respectful of their time and gas money. I will pursue my goal of becoming more reclusive and practice the hermit discipline. Maybe I'll read more of Thomas Merton. I will pray with greater focus and be more intentional in my prayer life.

I think one of the aids to a more successful resolution outcome may be keeping a calendar and a record of faithful practice. Maybe I can even report my experiences in this blog. I hope I don't completely chase off my readers. I get quite giddy when I have readers, so it can be very exhilarating. And oh, the joy of a comment! I do think this kind of self examination is profitable and meaningful. I'm afraid as a hermit, I have a lot to learn. I must learn not to seek affirmation and response to my writing. It still needs to be helpful or inspiring for others. Here is my dilemma: I must write well, intelligently, reasonably, and coherently, but without pride or arrogance. I must praise people and ideas that have value and substance without being overbearing or foolish. I want the writing to stand and carry weight because it is sound and convincing without the reader having to like me or be influenced by me as a person.

I've got a day to consider this before January 1, but tonight this is the way I'm going to leave it. I may alter it later. We'll see.

Hopeless

Sometimes there are barriers in my way that I can't find a way around. Sometimes the obstacles are more than I can surmount. Sometimes there is no avenue that promises relief. Sometimes I just bow and weep before God and seek his mercy. This is one of those times.

My daughter is ill and I can't help her. I moved away when my health began to crumble. I had my gall bladder removed when I moved here. I was suffering with it quite a bit. Now I have had a small stroke and deal with some difficulties in walking and some other problems with balance. These things are annoying, but  I still feel guilty that I am leaving Carol without my help. I do provide some financial support, but it's not enough to supply her with everything she needs.

Sometimes I want to move back home with her and take care of her again. I know I'm not able to do what she needs, but I could do what I could. Sarah does what she can, but if I was there I could do something. Here, I'm not doing anything. I feel guilty and useless. And I love her so much. I can only bow and weep and seek God.

It'sTime to Rant

It has been 53 years since Newton N. Minow's famous speech labeled TV as a "vast wasteland" and not much has changed. I guess I made a mistake. Things have gone downhill. The morality of TV shows has slid significantly and the grade is getting steeper.

TV is not the watch dog of morality, but it's reflection, so my rant is against the people who take the limelight and lower our standards of decency. TV has the power to do that by the portrayal of character's of high moral tone as ridiculous or stiff-necked, and the use of gangsters as nice guys. 

By teaching us to witness scenes of mayhem and destruction as humorous we lose sensitivity to the horror of the story we watch. It's not a big leap for us to justify killing the murderer. I believe in defending yourself, but it is still a drastic thing to kill another person.

     

Who Believes in Fairness?

Fairness is a principle I hear touted a lot. Referees and Umpires are challenged about the fairness of their decisions on the field and later in the clubhouse or the locker room, but these choices are not based on whether the decision was fair to all parties, but whether they followed the rules of the game. 

Fairness in the courtroom is measured by whether all parties are represented by a lawyer who is an expert in the law. When one person is wealthy and the other poor, the law may seem weighted by factors that extend beyond the domain of the rulings the court can make, and suddenly it's not fair. No, the world is not fair.

Bosses and teachers are expected to treat everyone under their direction fairly, but some have an advantage of intelligence, talent, or humility. Some people are bolder, quicker, or more receptive, and these characteristics are often viewed as an unfair advantage by others.

So what makes life fair? Are we guaranteed fairness? I don't think we are. In God's system we are guaranteed mercy. That's several levels better than fairness. We are accepted with all our faults, and even our sins, just by our faith in the efficacy of the sacrifice of Jesus to satisfy God's judgment on the world. If we want to play the fairness game with God, there is only one avenue: righteousness. God does not dabble in fairness. 

His requirement is always righteousness, but he knows we are incapable of righteousness and uses a new standard: mercy. Our only responsibility in mercy is reception. We are obligated to accept God's mercy and respond in its light. We don't have to correct our stupidity, but we must always remember that we stand before God in mercy. We are not righteous, but mercy gives us the opportunity to stand before him just because he wants it that way. We are not righteous, but he allows us to approach him because of his goodness, not ours, because of his mercy.

Don't try to please God on the basis of your goodness. Don't appeal to him because you have done good things and been kind. Only call on him in the name of his mercy. Seek only mercy, not justice.

Who Are My Readers?

About once a week I get curious and check to see where the readers of my blog come from. I am amazed when I find that a great many of my readers often come from Russia, the Ukraine, Kenya, France, or the UK. I can't imagine that I say anything that is particularly interesting to people who are not close neighbors. I feel very humble to have drawn readers from this wide world who seem to come around when I post a new entry.

I don't have a sports focus that basketball or soccer players would find enlightening. I don't do much with food or politics or health or really anything that would draw a crowd, but it is really exciting to find that, in spite of my mundane subjects, I still have readers from China or India or New Zealand. 

I find it especially exciting many of these readers have to get a translation of the text, and still they read my ramblings. Maybe the things that draw us together are more important than the things that separate us. 

Bottom line: I love my readers. I appreciate all the people who take time and make the effort to read my blogs. I would love to know what you think and how I could make this a better experience for you. I want to expand my horizons. Thanks for reading.

How Does God See Things?

You might have discovered that I am a Christian and attend Church regularly. Sometimes I cast a skeptical eye at Church politics and positions, and I find that I am not alone in my skepticism. It is sort of reassuring to find others who have similar questions to my own.

C. S. Lewis uses Screwtape to express a rather unflattering description of the Church to encourage his nephew Wormwood when the object of his efforts became a Christian. Screwtape pointed out the habits and customs of the one being tempted were still oriented toward the desires of the flesh, and Wormwood had those habits on his side. The Church is regarded as the total mass of the members. Of course, the intended aim of the Church is to strengthen the members toward a more virtuous life, but let's face it: the members still carry and participate in a lot of sin. This indicates that the Church is a project under construction just as the individual Christians are always moving toward a more excellent rendition of themselves.

It is reassuring that God does not expect us to become Holy or virtuous overnight. I have been working at this for a long time and I'm still not Holy, but, on the other hand, I have come a long way and learned a lot about what I think God want's me to know of his word and his work. I find it encouraging that he doesn't give up on me even though I'm still not perfect. One of the things God keeps showing me are the many areas where I'm still not up to his standards. He also continually shows me the many ways where I am making progress and becoming more constrained by his commands. 

This double sided view of myself is both fearful and fabulous: Both are revelations that I don't see without his help. In this life, the Church is the collection of the humans who attend and support her. One day the Church will be transformed into the image God sees in her and, like us, the Church will be visible to us too, in all her glory and majesty. There's a great day coming!

       

• Wormwood: Make Him Church Shop
• Theater Adaptation of C. S. Lewis' The Screwtape Letters Is Touring America
• CS Lewis took Hell seriously - that's why The Screwtape Letters is so powerful

Oh, Say Can You See...?

Cover of sheet music for "The Star-Spangled Banner" by Francis Scott Key, transcribed for piano by Ch. Voss, Philadelphia: G. Andre & Co., 1862 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is the anniversary of the writing of the Star Spangled Banner. It is our National Anthem. No matter what complaints and gripes I hear about it, I still swell with pride when I hear the initial phrase begin and the words are usually corrupted by the tears in my voice. I was never a singer anyway, but I'm impressed by it.

Rosanne Barr made a spectacle of herself when she performed it at a Padres games in 1990. It was supposed to be funny, but I found it both disrespectful and embarrassing. I sorta felt sorry for whoever contracted that deal. He or she probably got a reputation of inappropriate public awareness from it. I can't believe the players were thrilled by it, and certainly the service personnel could not have been inspired. Altogether it was a flop. Nobody has repeated it in such a manner since 1990.

A lot of verbiage has been spent on complaints about the difficulty of singing the song and the complexity of the language. To me this means we have a wonderful opportunity to teach children and all citizens about who Francis Scott Key was and the importance of the War of 1812. And by the way, the poetry of the song's four verses and what they mean. Somehow we have missed something in our value of the meaning of music, words, and patriotism. It still bugs me that the First Lady does not honor the flag with a salute.