It is easy to get discouraged. I don't like to try and work and not see results, but you can't give up. I can't anyway. Sometimes I want to, though. Somethimes I don't want to try again when I have no reason to think I can be successful this time when I haven't been in the past. Failure is too sad or bitter to face again.
Somewhere in my childhood, somebody, my mother would be my guess, taught me that once you say you will do a thing, you don't give up or quit or withdraw from the race. You keep trying until you accomplish it. When I have a reason to quit something or run out of time or I'm just plain unable to complete the assignment, I feel horrible guilt. Logically it doesn't follow that I should feel this guilt as if I had committed a sin or offended someone. Who should I apologize to? What is my penance? Is it really just me that I am responsible to, or do I need to ask my mother for forgiveness? Can't I just decide not to proceed? I signed up to enter the Master's program at the university. Then I decided that I didn't want to continue in the program. It wouldn't benefit me. I'm not going to work in the field. I just wanted to take classes and learn this stuff for my own gratification. So who am I offending?
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